I found this online on some dumbass website. Someone apparently thought it was funny...

Sometimes I'm not really sure that the Internet is really good for anything more than porn and trivia.

Another recent dream:
I wrote a #1 international hit called "Cockroach Tank."

Once again, things in Afghanistan aren't even close to secure, yet we've moved our focus to the non-threat: Saddam Hussein and Iraq. One thing at a time, right?

I'm threatening to turn this into one of those dream journals written by Tori Amos/Faerie girls everywhere:
Last night, I dreamt about getting this cute little animal called a "Chesterfield" from Lowe's that you pulled out of a bucket of water. It was instantly likable and already trained, but it cost $500 or something. He looked like my dog Charlie only younger, and fluffy like Charlie, but with a long otter-like body, covered in white fur. I'm not kidding when I say this was the cutest creature ever. To get an idea what this dog-animal looked like, sans otter-like body, take a look at this. Scroll down to the picture of the dog at 3 months old. Is that not the cutest thing you've ever seen? Now combine it with an otter. I can't remember anything else about the dream, but there was some great turmoil in my family because of the Chesterfield.

My friend, David McCarty, of Jackson, MS, has decided that the movie I dreamt about the other night (scroll down if you can't remember), the one about the immortal man, should be called "Hungry Heart." Why not? He seems more excited about it than I am, so maybe he should write a script based on my idea and give me story credit.

I've been really busy lately.

I've got "jazz hands!"

For no reason whatsoever, I'm going to post this list of suggesting readings from a class I was in last semester. It's a list of stuff that you should read if you want to be a better Social Studies teacher, but I think the list is pretty good myself. I've read, like, three books on here. I'd love to come up with some kind of master list. Any suggestions? Email me at biggray666@hotmail.com. So much revisionist history, so little time...here goes:

Acheibu, Chrena. Things Fall Apart.

Amnesty International and CBS Frontline Report. Genocide in Rwanda (videos)

Ambrose, Stephen E. (2001). The Good Fight: How World War II was Won. New York: Byron Press.

Arendt, Hannah. Eichmann in Jerusalem: a report on the banality of evil. (my suggestion!)

Bell, Thomas. Out of This Furnace. New York: Liberty Book Club. (immigration and industrial revolution in U.S.)

Bennett, William. The Book of Virtues.

Benz, Wolfgang. The Holocaust: A German Historian Examines the Genocide. New York: Columbia University Press.

Bowen. Miracle at Philadelphia. (Constitution)

Bragg, Rick. All Over But the Shoutin’. (southern history)

Braudel, Ferdinand. The Mediterranean.

Breisach, Ernst. Historiography: Ancient, Medieval, and Modern.

Brown. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

Burkhardt, Jacob. Renaissance.

Bury, J. Barbarian Invasions.

Chang, Iris. The Rape of Nanking.

Durant, Will & Durant, Ariel. Civilization.

Evans, David. Random Acts of Kindness.

Evans, David. Sherman’s Horsemen. (Civil War)

Foner, Eric. Free Soil, Free Labor, Free Men.

Foner, Eric. Reconstruction of the American South.

Gilbert, Martin. History of the 20th Century (3rd ed.).

Grim. The Reformation.

Grun, Bernard. The Timetables of History.

Heilbroner, Robert L. (1992). The Worldly Philosophers: The Lives, Times, and Ideas of the Great Economic Thinkers. New York: Touchstone/Simon & Schuster.

Hershey, John. Hiroshima.

Hitler, Adolph. Mein Kampf.

Hunter, Tera. To ‘Joy My Freedom.

Jones, Jacqueline. Soldiers of Light and Love. (Reconstruction Era)

Kennan, George. U.S.-Soviet Relations.

Kershaw, Ian. Hitler (2 volumes).

King, Martin Luther, Jr. (Carson, Clayborne, ed.). The Autobiography of Martin Luther King, Jr.

Kogan. Theory and Practice of Hell (Buchenwald Camp)

Kozol. Jonathan. Savage Inequalities. (class stratification in U.S.)

Loewen, James W. (1995). Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong. New York: Simon & Schuster.

McCullough, David. Path Between the Seas. (Panama Canal)

Menand, Louis (2001). The Metaphysical Club: A Story of Ideas in America. New York: Farrar, Straus & Giroux. (19th century intellectual history)

Morris, Richard. Encyclopedia of American History.

O’Brien, Tim. The Things They Carried. (Vietnam)

Orwell, G. (1958). The Road to Wigan Pier. San Diego: Harcourt.

Pranga, Gordon. At Dawn We Slept. (Pearl Harbor)

Robbins. The Origins of W.W. I

Sacco, Joe. Safe Area Gorazde.

Sandberg, Carl. Lincoln.

Schultzinger, Robert D. U.S. Diplomacy Since 1900.

Silver, Harvey T. & Strong, Richard W. So Each May Learn: Styles and Multiple Intelligences.

Spiegelman, Art. Maus I and II.

Straus, Leo & Gopsey, Joseph. History of Political Philosophy.

Takaki, Ronald. A Different Mirror.

Thomas, Emory. Confederate Nation.

Thomas, Emory. Travels to Hallowed Ground.

Tuchman, Barbara. A Distant Mirror. (14th century Europe)

Tuchman, Barbara. The First Salute. (American Revolution in the international context)

Tuchman, Barbara. Guns of August. (W.W. I)

Tuchman, Barbara. The March of Folly.

Veblen, Thorstein. Theory of the Leisure Class.

Wheeler & Becker. Discovering the American Past, vol. 1 & 2.

Wiesel, Elie. Night. (Holocaust)

Wong, Harry & Wong, Rosemary. The First Days of School.

Yukl, Gary (1998). Leadership in Organizations. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall.

Zinn, Howard. A People’s History of the United States.

V+ questioned me on my position about Iraq, specifically asking me what I think should be done. Nothing should be done. Let the UN inspectors do their job. Sure, it's bureaucratic. Sure, it's slow and boring and probably won't find anything. Sure, Iraq is a led by an evil dictator. Too bad. We have to wait for the rest of the world to catch up with us. Whoever said international relations was quick? Then we act...Unilateral action will severely damage our EU relations (remember, these guys could take us on economically in the next five years) and what little standing we have left in the Middle East will be gone. We have so many other better things to be worrying about right now...if Iraq has not reignited their "nucular" weapons program, as "Dr." Blix's initial report suggests, than maybe we should turn our attention to North Korea, where they are playing nuclear blackmail (it's working!). We need to get China, Japan, South Korea, and Russia in on this thing because they are the ones most affected. Instead of appeasing Kim Jong Il, maybe we should say "no" to his blackmail and call him out on his bullshit. I had a great article about this, but I've lost it. Shit. Where is it? Okay, I'll have to get back to you on North Korea. Sorry. I stink.

If human rights really is one of our missions in a potential Iraq War (and I'm skeptical), why are we doing something in Zimbabwe and other hot spots? Why can't we just come out and say that oil has a lot to do with this war? If the war isn't about oil then why does the Bush administration get up in arms about France and Russia siding with Iraq? They're doing it for the oil. They pretty much come out and say it. Why can't we do the same...or at least acknowledge that wider access to the region's oil would be a fringe benefit? I don't think Americans would have a problem with lower oil prices.

Here's part of my problem: I don't think we're doing it all for the oil. I think we're going after Iraq for mindless sabre-rattling. I think that it's a boondoggle, meant to cover up the fact that we haven't and may never make real gains in the War on Terrorism. I think that most people, on the right or left, assume that the US will win the war and that the immediate ends to the conflict, the removal of Saddam Hussein, is a good thing. That's not really debatable. The Bush administration has failed to provide clear proof that Saddam is the threat they say he is. If he's such a threat, what about Castro? What about Mugabe? Hell, what about Quebecois separatists? What about ETA in Spain? I've said it once and I'll say it again: Saddam is an easy target. But he shouldn't be our main focus. We should be looking at Sendero Luminoso, the drug cartels in Colombia (or maybe end the drug war!), ETA, the IRA, the Polisario Front, the Tamil Tigers, Hamas, and, of course, Al Qaeda as potential targets for action. Prove to me, Bush, that is truly a global war on terrorism and not just picking a fight with a relic from your father's administration. No wonder the Muslim world feels singled-out. There's plenty of other stuff going on around the world, and we choose to ignore it, exacerbating the situation. Are we really targeting terrorism writ large or just choosing easy targets, the Taliban and Saddam Hussein. I want to know.

So my answer is...I forgot! No, seriously, I think we should wait and take stock of other potential threats. There was no retaliation for the recent Kenyan and Bali terrorist attacks...why not? Why Iraq? Why right now?

All budget reports and no play makes Lucas a dull boy.

Strangely enough, none of my recent links have been working...sorry about that. I'm trying to figure out what the hell is going on.

I know it's hypocrital to say, but I didn't watch the State of the Union address last night. I read the transcript this morning; it takes about an hour and a half less time. I feel sort of bad about it, but I just find the whole affair tedious and more than a little tense. I can only hear "nucular" so much. I don't know. I'm a bad person, I guess.

I did, however, go see "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind" and it was a fine, fine film. It was everything that "Man on the Moon" wasn't...it was funny, strange, and offered some real insight (and at the same time, none at all) into Chuck Barris's character. Easily the best Drew Barrymore performance ever and Sam Rockwell is as good as ever. What can I say about George Clooney? Can he get any cooler? He directed this movie like a real pro, with a surprisingly light touch at times, considering the need of actors turned directors to show off sometimes (are you listening Kevin Spacey?). Great flick...not for everyone, but great flick.

I put my boxers shorts on backwards today. I am an idiot.

On a completely unrelated note, my job is boring. Thanks for playing!

Hmmm...I hate feeling guilty. It makes me feel wrong and I hate being wrong (who doesn't?) But...I went back and read about half of the content on Andrew Sullivan's website, and I may have made him into more of a monster than he actually is. Do I still feel he's hypocrital and contradictory? Absolutely... Is his primary argument against the anti-war Left a Straw Man? Oh, yeah... His devotion to the president is beyond baffling, especially for a president whose administration is working against most of his agenda, but I feel like I was a little hard on the guy. I felt mean. I'm not a mean person (or at least I hope I'm not).

Jesus Christ, where are my balls?

Brandon has responded to my rant and brought up some good points, but I stand by everything I said and them some. Bush wanted to pull out of peacekeeping efforts around the globe, which pissed off Europe and internationalists such as myself. The big difference between the potential war on Iraq and a typical UN peacekeeping effort is that peacekeeping efforts, beside being unilateral, act to stop current conflicts. This is key. All international engagements are not the same, and we shouldn't leave this out of the debate. There is no current conflict in Iraq. Bush's war has been labeled a "preventive strike," which brings about serious questions of sovereignty (something that conservative Israel-defenders constantly use when supporting the Sharon government), not counting that the fact that its going to be Britain, the US, and a few second-tier hangers-on. Peacekeeping efforts are there to calm down current conflicts to stop violence and bring about (hopefully) peace. The peacekeeping forces in Western Saharia dealing with the Polisario Front and the UN mission in Cyprus and the UN forces in Bosnia do this every single day, trying to hold things together and keep them from exploding, and yes, sometimes regime change is part of their agenda, like in Bosnia (by the way, Germany and France--the subject of much talk-radio hatred these days--are two of the biggest contributors of troops to these missions...oh, but wait! they're just "in it for the oil," right? Like we aren't...) There is NO current conflict in Iraq, and though Saddam may have violated UN resolutions (like, um, Israel and the US), you have to be patient and wait for them. I'm something of a realist in International Relations terms--I believe that states act in their own self-interest--but I also think that multilateralism is preferable every single time over unilateral action, which only engenders hatred to the main aggressor--in this case, the US of A. That's why, besides the creepy domestic policy and myopic foreign scope, I disagree with this whole War on Terrorism. Don't you think we're going to end up creating more terrorists than we catch? If you think they hate us now, boy howdy!, wait 'til the post-Iraq War terrorism movement gets cooking. If we're into nation-building these days why aren't we doing anything at all in Africa, where more terrorists are housed than Iraq? And why only a year-and-a-half plan for post-Saddam Iraq? Why are we neglecting Afghanistan? Why are we ignoring North Korea? Why do we ignore the Sendero Luminoso in Peru? What happened in the Phillipines? There are too many lingering questions out there and I think the Bush is using Iraq as a MacGuffin because frankly, they don't have the smarts and balls to do anything else. They picked the easiest target out there and went after it. I don't think that they truly care about their new rhetoric of fostering freedom and democracy, etc. around the world. The world to them is Afghanistan and Iraq and nothing else.

...and I still think Bush is flaccid and ineffectual. He can't even rally our allies around a war against a bloodthirsty tyrant. Directing international foreign policy (and I'm not convinced that he has done that...he's had to compromise a great deal) still doesn't mean he's good or right or has any idea what's going on.

Andrew Sullivan's woe-is-me-I'm-the-president Bush argument still makes me angry, six hours after reading it. Though Sully would have you believe he's one of these-free-marketplace-of-ideals types, he is not. If you criticize the president, it's "vitriol." If you're a moderate, you're a "sane liberal." It's horse manure.

Also, Brandon brings up the well-educated people surrounding the President, implying we should trust their wisdom. One of my favorite Woody Allen quotes seems applicable: "Even Harvard makes mistakes...Kissinger taught us that!"

Courtnie and I saw "The Ring" last night, and although it was creepy, it wasn't nearly as scary as people made it out to be. For my money, "Poltergeist" is one of the scariest movies ever, and there's no killing in it whatsoever. "The Ring" was extremely well-made and pretty well-acted, so who am I to complain. It's better than most of the slasher trash out there that passes for horror movies. I like this new wave of thoughtful horror/mystery movies a la "The Sixth Sense," "The Others," and "The Ring."

A completely off-the-cuff rant:

Brandon called the Bush war policy nuanced, and that made me laugh. Nuanced? Are you fucking kidding me? It's so obvious and so lame-brained that I can't believe more people aren't protesting it. It's an insult to intelligence. It's a tautology: we must get Saddam because we must get Saddam. There is absolutely nothing more to it than that. You can bring in oil to muck up the issue. You can bring in issues of "human rights." But the truth of the matter is this: we're going after Saddam because we need something to do. Plain and simple. It's a self-perpetuating cycle...a positive feedback loop. Sure, the Blix report is a damage to Iraq's credibility...did they have any already? Everybody knows that Saddam Hussein is nuts. Everybody knows we need a regime change in Iraq. Why didn't we go after them when he first took office? Why all of a sudden? Why now? Because the economy stinks? Because Bush has actually increased the size of government, cut down on our civil rights, invaded our homes? Nah...he just needs something to do because he can't do anything else. He's completely ineffectual. He's flaccid. His rhetoric is John Wayne b-sides and Reagan outtakes.

Plus...he's ignoring North Korea, and that's a real crisis that might ignite a regional arms race. His foreign policy is made up as it goes along. His Middle East policy, in particular, is an embarrassment. I feel bad for Colin Powell because it always seems like he's batting cleanup.

Andrew Sullivan is an apologist and a hypocrite who plays loose with the facts every chance he can get. He's the worst kind of pundit, one who thinks he's not a pundit because he critiques mainstream values at times. The same government that is trampling on his civil rights and precious conservative values, he applauds for destroying notions of international sovereignty. All of the things he regularly accused liberals of carrying out in goverment (bigger government, social control, etc.) are being carried out by the Bush administration and he says little to nothing. He even called Bush's speech about the Trent Lott situation, the one in Pennsylvania, "courageous!" I call it "a day late and a dollar short." Bush was at Strom Thurmond's birthday party! Andrew Sullivan is a smart guy with a weblog, no different from me. He wonders why people are anxious about the war. Um, maybe because we don't want to send people off to die in a country when we see NO THREAT on the horizon. We are a reactive country, and it makes me laugh to see all the conservatives against intervention in the Bosnian War, who allowed (Republicans and Democrats...Democrat does NOT mean liberal) the slaughters in Rwanda and Burundi to take place, who let millions die in Angola, etc. etc. all of a sudden become internationalists. As a long-time internationalist, it's funny to have all of these people sitting at my table all of a sudden...wonder how long they'll stay here: I see inaction in Zimbabwe, I see inaction in Burundi, I see inaction in Venezuela. Hmmm....Sully doesn't understand the demonization of President Bush, yet he thinks that Bush should act alone and take unilateral action against Iraq. You get what you ask for...you want to go it alone, you take the fucking lumps for it, Sully, and it's incredibly naive and more than a little "don't-you-talk-about-my-mama" of you to suggest that the demonization of President Bush is unwarranted. He's the fucking president! He's the leader of the United States of America, our most visible symbol of our goals and aims and policies. You don't like what Michael Moore and Maureen Dowd have to say about your beloved Bush who is under so much "pressure?" Boo--fucking--hoo. He wanted the job, right? After the vitriol slung at the Clinton regime and Al Gore in Election 2000 (not all of it undeserved), it seems only fair. You made this bed...now your President must sleep in it. Grow up and stop whining. This kind of "well, I never!" attitude doesn't fly with me. "God knows the pressure he must be under." Barf.

I'm not an Iraqi apologist. I don't think nearly as many people are apologists as the Right would have you believe. I'm not an anti-Semite and I hate the Israeli government. Don't follow down the slippery slope of "if you're not with us, you're against us." Just because I disagree with the war doesn't mean I'm an Iraqi apologist. To even suggest such makes me livid. God forbid, I act as a conscientious objector. God forbid I exercise my fucking right to free fucking speech. I'm not Noam Chomsky. I'm just someone who can see through the fog of nonsense and contradiction that the Bush administration calls their foreign policy.

Oh, by the way, how are things in Afghanistan these days? What's that? The biggest firefight in a year today, this very day. Glad has covered the Afghan situation for the last year. Oh, wait. They haven't. What was that famous (non-existent) George Washington quote about "entanglements" that is often bandied about by conservatives when we liberal internationalists suggest intervening in global hot spots? I get so tired of hearing about it (Washington never actually said it, as far as I can ascertain), and it's funny to see conservatives and hawks not heeding the advice that they offered during Somalia, Bosnia, and Haiti. The irony is sickening.

Does anyone else think the omnipresence of Asplundh trucks is sort of creepy?

Oh, man, I totally forgot...Rebecca C. has a blog now! You can check it out by clicking here. It's already pretty funny.

The Republicans are the party of small government, right?

I'm pretty drunk.

Tonight, for my experimental radio show, Crisis!, I played the "Super Bowl Shuffle" on repeat for two hours. My greatest triumph?

I saw Punch-Drunk Love again last night, and once again it consumes my thoughts. I have no idea why I like that movie so much, considering all it does is make me feel awkward for about 75% of its duration. I don't know...it just seems so original and beautiful and fantastical and naturalistic all at the same time.

In a dream the other night, I made a movie...I scribbled down the "plot" at three in the morning. I must preface this by saying that, at the time, I thought this was the greatest movie ever made. Don't steal my idea (highly unlikely)! Here it is, original syntax intact:

Jerry Carroll--businessman...disappears so to speak (leaving wife and kids) moves from Atlanta to Auburn then to Tuscaloosa to Starkville to Athens over 5 years  (only goes to SEC towns because of football). Saved money clandestinely.  He's immortal, well, 200 years old. Hits on women, fails miserably as he gets more and more obese.  In Athens joins a Weight Watchers group to cruise for chicks, but falls in love with the counselor, so actually loses weight to impress her.  They hook up and have torrid affair--she has always been repressed sexually (guys are scared to ask her out 'cause she seems beautiful, but icy) and learns a lot from him, but realizes her sexual prowess and sleeps around with younger men for kicks.  They get in a fight and she realizes that he's disappeared businessman from four years ago and threatens to 'out' him.  He runs.  And then?

He has waterdrop sky dream and wife and kids are there, so he convinces himself he's taking care of them. He's actually dead finally.
------------------------------------

An alternate version of this has him going to an all-girls school on island in the middle of Lake Michigan. That's right: I've had this dream twice.

Notice that he's immortal. This is a key element. And the so-called "waterdrop sky dream" would be too hard to explain.

I think I hear Miramax calling.

Someone out there thinks my penis is way too small. At least judging by the nature of the junk emails I get every day. Now, I don't claim to be Long Don Silver over here, but sheesh! I've made it this far, right?

Apparently, this same person/group of people seems to think that I like farm animals. In an intimate way.

Just when you think you've got it rough...

It's stories like these that make me feel like a whiny little punk.

I was walking in the library by a study cubicle and one of the guys there cut a really loud fart. I couldn't stop laughing. He looked sort of embarrassed. I guess I would, too.

Looks like W's picked another winner! I love that horse manure about "reparative therapy." Give me a fucking break.

UPDATE: Looks like he withdrew. Good for him.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but here is a great article by Andrew Sullivan about a recent article in Rolling Stone. I happened to come across the Sean Hannity show in question...I'm obsessed with right-wing talk radio (is there any left-wing talk radio?)...and Sean was really sticking it to gay people on this point. It looks like the whole "bug chasing" story is bunk, and it sounded suspicious to me to begin with, but I'm sure Sean won't bring up the fact that the story is collapsing around him. He never does. He has more of a problem with the facts than Rush Limbaugh, but he comes wrapped up in a good-looking-guy-next-door package. He sugarcoats his vitriol. In a way, I hate him more than Rush. Hate is such a strong word, isn't it?

Okay. I work in a university library, supposedly surrounded by intelligentsia and academia, etc. etc. So tell me why someone pissed all over the toilet seat in our staff bathroom. They couldn't lift the seat up? Disgusting.

Here is a transcript for a very funny SNL skit featuring Will Ferrell as none other than the aforementioned Dennis DeYoung of Styx.

Hey! I like "Dancing In The Dark!"

Check out this transcript of Mr. Ferrell's extended ad hominem about Neil Diamond. I thought I was gonna die laughing when I saw that sketch, but, at the same time, I was mortified at the buckets of slander being slung at, let's face it, an easy target.

I kinda want to see that movie "Old School." The trailer was funny.

Styx is playing twice during the Super Bowl pregame show which begs a whole host of questions. #1: Is Styx without Dennis DeYoung still Styx? Bill, a good friend and ex-coworker, saw them at one of those Concert for America things (the second tier edition) and said they were awesome. And Dennis DeYoung was responsible for Mr. Roboto and most of the group's, ahem, "thematic" (read: sucky) offerings. And they still have two lead singers, Tommy Shaw and James Young. But...Dennis was a major contributor to the band for better or worse. And he was an original member of pre-Styx band, the Tradewinds (and TW4), while Tommy Shaw came along later, post-"Lady." The band feels less whole without him. It really is a moral quandary.

Question #2: Does anybody give a shit about Styx anymore?

This is fucking creepy. I think we assumed a lot of things about cloning that aren't coming true. If fur color, and likely skin color, aren't tied to genetics, as this seems to suggest, then can we finally put to bed scientific discussions of race and move to the more applicable social discussions of ethnicity?

Whoops...went political!

I forgot to tell you about how much fun I had this weekend. Julie, Bren, Susan, Sean, and Mark all came over for "Game Night" on Saturday. It's amazing that we had two successful Game Nights in a row. Every time that we try to start a tradition like Game Night it usually fails miserably. We played this great game called The Poll Game which plays out like a more orderly version of Truth or Dare without the Dare part. To be honest, it's more fun that way because the game kept thoughtful and hilarious conversations going the whole night. "Do you believe in capital punishment?" "Have you ever wrecked the family car?" "Have you ever masturbated in front of someone else?" I made up that last one. We got totally wasted (dude!) and things didn't wind down until four in the morning or so. It was all couples (Mark had to leave after a few hours), but it didn't feel overly "couply." It was a lot of fun. All the couples in movies who get together do the lamest things; I hope that we don't end up like that...you know, Tupperware parties and shit.

On Sunday, Courtnie, Phoebe, and I went (Phoebe's boyfriend, Aaron, stayed at home to do math...no shit!) to go see Catch Me If You Can, which was superb and a little deeper than I expected. I think Spielberg went two for two in '02 (God, that sounds stupid...I should write for ESPN.com or something). I really loved Minority Report as well. Anyway, we all thoroughly enjoyed the flick, especially me because I now get into movies for free through my co-hosting of "The Film Thing" on WUOG. Sweet gig.

Courtnie and I got back from the movies and promptly veged (sp?) out in front of the TV and watched Cookie's Fortune, an amiable Robert Altman social satire, and the Mothman Prophecies, which started out scary, but sort of petered out until the intense conclusion. Mark Pellington is a talented technical director, but he's a bit pretentious. Will Patton was great in it, though.

We skipped the Golden Globes.

I'm still addicted to Metroid Prime, which ranks right now as one of my top ten favorite games of all time. Seriously.

No political stuff for a while 'cause I just don't have the time.

While I've been sort of incommunicado lately, Brandon has been out of control. Vaughn, or V+, I should say, has been hard at work as well. My blog's beginning to look downright ancient, with its lack of bells and whistles and stuff. Angie sent me some links on how to spruce up my 'blog, but I haven't gotten around to doing it. Look at Allison's! Or Carl's! I'm beginning to have 'blog envy.

I've always wondered what the proportion of deaths in the WTC disaster were made up by disabled/wheelchair bound persons. It seems like I heard something about this once on 9/11--a girl who survived telling about a man in a wheelchair trapped on the stairwell--but never heard anything about it again. Though our society has made numerous strides in our handling of the disabled, we still have a long way to go, and media marginalization of salient issues doesn't help. I'm constantly amazed at how many public places are not wheelchair accessible. If anybody has any links to any stories regarding wheelchair bound people and 9/11, I'd appreciate them.

Some thoughts on being married...
It didn't really hit me that I was "married" married until I went to this Auburn Christmas party that Meri Thompson, a high school friend, throws ever year as sort of a mini-reunion. It was here that I saw old friends and an ex-girlfriend or two and introduced Courtnie as "my wife." That's when it smacked me upside my head. And it did feel different, contrary to current popular opinion which suggests that marriage is unnecessary. It felt much more permanent. Honestly, I wasn't sure that I would feel different, seeing as how Courtnie and I have been living together for a year and a half, but, I don't know, something changed. It's hard to put my finger on it. And it feels better to be married. It feels great, actually...looser, but more intense. I'm less worried about money and logistical nonsense because I (naively?) think that everything's going to be okay because we're married. We're a united front! Greater than the sum of our parts! An elite fighting machine! Sure, marriage is a social construct as much as it is a spiritual bond, but I like the feeling of being legitimized by society. For some reason, our relationship is valued more by society than those great, unwashed unmarried couples who befoul the earth with their putrid, sinful ways.

Unfortunately, my limited capability of expressing feelings through prose have hindered my attempts to convey this powerful message that came to me in the shower at about 6:25 AM. Sorry. Trust me, marriage feels different, but if you don't think it will then don't do it. You'll save a lot of money (but miss out on all of the new linens).

Boy, I'm getting old. Yesterday afternoon/evening, Courtnie, myself, and the Team Clermont crew went out for drinks at Transmetropolitan, a nice joint where they have 75¢ PBRs for the duration of their unusually long happy hour. Well, I had, like, six beers. And that made me tired. And I had two shows to go to that night: Je Suis France and Your American Math. Not just bands I like, but bands I like featuring people I like. I've missed way too many "Math" shows recently and feel sorta guilty about it. I made it to the JSF show, but both Courtnie and I petered out around 12:15. What's happening to me? I used to rage against the dying of the light, all night, every night. Now I can barely make it to 12:15?!?!

On a completely unrelated note, I have a class that makes me play videogames. Life is tough.

An interesting study. I've witnessed this shit firsthand. I worked at a gas station in Mississippi, and a girl with a name like "Shaniqua" or something applied for a job. We really needed the help. My boss said, "I don't think we can trust anybody with a name like that." I just half-smiled and went back to work.

At work, I downloaded a free copy of Burgertime, and it totally messed up my computer. No matter what I did, it reverted to Burgertime. I turned off the computer and turned it back on...Burgertime! Control-alt-delete...Burgertime! Thankfully my coworker, Matt, fixed the problem.

I like typing "Burgertime!"

I really, really like Hall and Oates.

I forgot about this episode of GI Joe. Good God, it's bad.

Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?

Here are some things I like right about now:
Hall and Oates--Voices (great record!)
Cat Stevens
Metal Gear Solid demo for my work computer
The Taco Stand
my wedding ring
my sweater

Phoebe just came by our house. She is the fucking coolest.

When Courtnie and I were in Paris, we went to this super-cool shop where everything was anthropomorphic. They were playing the Kinks' "Village Green Preservation Society" on their CD player, which made it even cooler. When a Billy Crudup-esque guy behind the counter noticed me singing along he asked, "Un fan du Kinks?" to which I replied, in my very best French, "Oui."

A lot of other bloggers have comments and shout-out sections and stuff. How do you do that? Will someone email me at biggray666@hotmail.com and tell me how to do that stuff. And how do I make links to other sites in the lefthand "margin?" So computer illiterate...

What I'm listening to these days (at my new job where I don't have to listen to country!):

Tom Waits--Swordfishtrombones
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds--Your Funeral, My Trial
New Order--Movement
The Kinks--Kinda Kinks
Fleetwood Mac--Rumours
Jessamine--The Long Arm of Coincidence
Prefab Sprout--Two Wheels Good

I tried to use a washcloth in the shower today--for the first time in, like, ten years--and it just didn't do it for me. Washcloth users, explain yourselves!

In other news, I hope Pete Townshend isn't a paedophile (British spelling), and I wish my last name was cool, like Blix or Wolfgang. We got a juicer for our wedding (thanks Vaughn!), and it's pretty amazing. I juiced up a homegrown grapefruit that Nelson's chica Ashley gave to me and it was the best damned grapefruit juice I've ever had. Speaking of best ____'s we've ever had, I made some good split pea soup yesterday. It may not be the best split pea soup I've ever had, but it's pretty fucking good. Courtnie said it was "restaurant good."

Maurice Gibb (of the Bee Gees) died, and that sucks. Most people think of them as a disco band, but they were a lot more than that. For a period, before their first breakup, they were a huge teen pop band, and then, in Australia, on par with the Beatles in popularity. This period of the BeeGees is lost to most people who think of them as Saturday Night Fever and nothing more, but records like "Idea" and "Odessa," especially the latter, are brilliant and have a ton of great orchestral pop tunes on them. Two of their post breakup, pre-disco records, "Two Years On" and "Trafalgar," are absolutely stunning orchestral pop records. Seth Hall, via Bill Doss, turned me on to the early Bee Gees and I can't thank him enough. "Alone Again" is one of my favorite songs of all time.

And damn! those bastards could sing...probably up there with the Beach Boys in terms of uncanny harmonization.

We're having a yard sale tomorrow and already, tensions are running high! Courtnie thinks we put up enough signs. I think we need more. I think we should start getting ready for it at five in the morning. She thinks I'm nuts. For the record, I probably am nuts, but I'm obsessed with winning over the "hardcore" crowd.

I should probably watch what I say from now on because Courtnie read my weblog for the first time today. Thanks a lot, Phoebe (said with sarcasm).

In other news, my new job is okay, if a little boring. Still, it beats the high-paced (no, really!) rental industry.

Courtnie and I watched "Joy Ride" last night (well I caught the last hour or so) and it was surprisingly good. I mean, I really, really liked it. It felt really...hmm...unprententious. The plot was a rehash of the Spielberg TV Movie "Duel" (itself a real nail-biter and maybe the best made-for-TV movie ever, not counting HBO flicks), but Steve Zahn and crew had a real natural way about them. They actually seemed like real people. Usually teen horror movies are so forced and contrived that they pummel you over the head with their plot twists. This one nonchalantly laid them out in front of you. Good stuff. It reminded me of another underrated "trucker thriller" that I really enjoyed: "Breakdown" with Kurt Russell and JT Walsh (his last role?). Short, sweet, to-the-point, and not overly plotted. I think what makes Hitchcock's thrillers so effective is the simplicity of their presentation. Occum's Razor, you know? Hmm...I need to think about this further, but there's a theory growing in my noggin.

Oh, I bought Metroid Prime AND Metroid Fusion. Fucking monsters. Prime may be one of the greatest games I've ever played, bar none.

I'm going to be posting a list of things I liked in 2002, but I think we can all agree that J.Lo's "Jenny From the Block," while being a lyrical sham, is a monster, as my friend Phoebe put it. A fucking monster.

So is Nelly's "Hot in Herre."

Fucking monsters.

I'm quitting my job at Nationsrent, which means a drastic cut in pay, but at least I won't have to work with racist contractors/co-workers/etc. anymore. I still haven't figured out what a "yodel" is yet, but some guy came in talking about his "yodels" the other day, and it seemed like he was talking about a particular ethnic group. My racist credibility is really in the toilet.

More cool things I've remembered to tell you about my wedding...the longest sustained dancing I've ever seen at a wedding--nearly three hours!...almost all of the wedding cake was eaten...the average drinking rate was something like four drinks a person or something!

I'm back. I'm too tired to blog really, but I will hit you up with a few random thoughts about my wedding and subsequent honeymoon. King's Things style as always:

My wedding was actually fun. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but I thought it was one of the better weddings I've ever attended. Of course, my attendance was mandatory, but still...a good time was had by all. I heard the food was great, but besides a stellar piece of pork tenderloin and some mashed potatoes, I didn't get to eat anything. Courtnie ate less than I did. I was so hungry that I seriously thought about hitting Krystal after my own wedding...sleazy, eh? It was great seeing so many friends from high school, college, etc., but I wish I'd had more time to spend with them. I stayed on the dance floor most of the time which I used as sort of caveat, you know, to keep from talking to everybody there. That may sound selfish and rude, but I'd surmise that those of you reading this who have had "big" weddings know that you just can't talk to everybody and if you hang out with one group more than another you run the risk of hurting somebody's feelings.

Most people get laid on their wedding night (or so I've heard). Me, I got soul-scarring heartburn. I had to drive to a gas station to pick up some ranitidine (that's Zantac to you). When I got back, C. was asleep...I don't blame her, really. I felt like we spent the next week and a half still catching up on sleep.

Paris is beautiful. The people were no ruder than NYC or something and arguably nicer. We ate for cheap and did almost a week there for under $500 (not including accomodations and plane tickets). They (the Parisians) love smoking. They love dogs. They smoke in airports and hospitals and the subway and restaurants...everywhere. They bring dogs with them in airports and hospitals and the subway and restaurants. And the stories about dog shit on the sidewalk in Paris are absolutely true. You've got to stay vigilant or you'll step in some doggie-doo on every block. No lie.

More to come...